Britney, my child, just stop, ok just. no more. No more vag flashing. no more cheap wigs. No more denial about the fact that you have had two kids and your body is not what it used to be. just. no more, k?



ok, Britney, darling, if i had just two kids and i was rocking your body atm, i would be proud. but and insy bikini is not the way to go. YOU ARE NOT THERE YET. Get one that fits, or maybe a one piece , they do such nice one-pieces now. Why would you go for one that looks like it has purply pubs on the front? and whats with the head scarf. ROCK YOUR BALDNESS. you can't do a kylie my child, you did not have cancer, you will get no sympathy. 


Britney, if you ever want a comeback, disappear for a year, and then comeback with your rocking new album with a rocking new body, like this one you used to have?


remember?

If i were a religious person, i would worship Karl Lagerfeld. He is awesome. He owns all. but even OGK (our god Karl) gets it wrong sometime. and when Karl gets it wrong, he really gets it wrong.

Emma watson has a tendency of getting dressed in the dark. She is incapable of actually putting an outfit together without fucking up something. So what happens when you put the two together?




...


         
karl, your pout will not get you out of this. what were you thinking. I blame Lindsay, she is a terrible influence on you. I have told you before Karl, do not take any white powder lindsay offers you. especially if you in the middle of designing a collection. We have seen what happens and its not pretty. Sweet jesus, what inspired you to create a dress for feathers and tinsel? What part of you Brain told you this outfit would work? At which point did you stare at your blank page and think " (in a german accent) i wonder if i can design a dress so hideous that no one would wear it!  After all i am chanel and i own you everyone! BWAHAHAHAHA". well stop laughing Karl. because you clearly have never witnessed the monstrosity's Miss Watson is capable of putting together








I would like to take the time to point out how much i love her shoes. and bag. and despite the fact she should have kept it brown, her hair looks stunning. But thats it. the dress is terrible. Emma do your friends not like you? Did you not tell them what you were wearing. Or are you all blind? Or high at the time? Emma you need to hire a stylist, or fire the one you have at the moment, because this is not working! You have no justification for this dress. I dont care if it was desinged by Karl! WE DON'T LISTEN TO KARL. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE'S BEEN WITH LINDSAY. Listen. i get thats its Chanel and your 17 and most 17 years olds don't get to wear chanel dresses to Gala things (yes, this is me being jealous) but couture dresses are made for 6'1 runway models, and even they can't pull half this shit off. so just leave it to them, ok, and go experiment with leggings and neon colours, like bonnie, she looks like shes having a blast